All the pre-election stress is kind of getting to me right now, unfortunately.
I got through a very long day, but I didn’t finish all the things I needed to finish. I’ve already got a list of things to do tomorrow that I know I won’t get through, and I know my RFD and FO are just going to keep adding more and more to it. And EVERYTHING is top priority. They’re throwing things at me constantly. One will ask me to do something that needs to be done ASAP, so I’ll stop what I was already working on to do the new task. Then the other will ask me when I’m going to be finished with the first task.
To be fair, they’re not angry or mean about it or anything, and they’re working just as hard too. And I think some of it’s due to my utter lack of working memory–I honestly cannot hold more than one thing in my mind at once without things falling through the cracks, and I’m being asked to hold 15 things in mind at once.
There’s also a power bill I can’t pay. And I don’t know how I’m going to pay it next month either. Every month, I’m just getting farther and farther underwater.
And I’m really triggered by a discussion on a forum that got taken over rape apologists who think it’s perfectly acceptable to make women totally responsible for rape prevention. Seriously, if you ever feel the need to mansplain rape prevention, just fucking don’t. And the mods/admins won’t do anything about it. They don’t care that this is creating a hostile, triggering environment for survivors of abuse and rape.
And I’m pretty sure my PMDD is kicking in.
Right now I just want to do something, anything, to turn off all these fucking feelings. I want to cut or OD or binge and purge, or something. Just make it stop.