I’m in a serious crisis. My roommate is in the kitchen screaming about me to her mother, and it’s taking EVERYTHING that I’ve got in me not to just kill myself right now. I need to pee, but I can’t even come out of my bedroom. I’m afraid to be in my own house. It’s so bad that the only way out I can see is to kill myself. I know I’m not rational right now, and I’m really trying to stay in control, but I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to.
I’ve called and emailed C and asked her to get in touch with me as soon as humanly possible, but I don’t know if she’s even working today since it’s a holiday. She doesn’t have a cell phone, and she doesn’t have internet at home–so if she’s not at work today, then she won’t get my messages until tomorrow. I don’t think I can make it that long. Even if she does call me, I can’t say very much because Roommate might overhear.
I also texted the landlady and told her I need to talk about the roommate situation ASAP, but I haven’t heard back from her yet either. She’s probably working too.
I even left a message for my case manager, but she only works Wednesday through Sunday. Besides, her answer is just going to be to hospitalize me, which won’t help. I mean, it gets you away from the immediate situation, but then you get out and you’re right back in the same situation.
I don’t know what to do. I’m seriously falling apart, and I don’t have anywhere else to turn. Even if I thought a suicide hotline would answer, I’d be afraid to call because Roommate could hear me.