Let me explain a thing.
I’m not falling apart simply because we lost an election. I’m falling apart because of what that means.
I’m barely surviving as it is. Massachusetts is supposedly one of the most liberal states, but even our safety net programs aren’t enough to get by on. Charlie Baker has made it clear that he thinks most of the people who use safety net programs are scammers, and he’s promised to “aggressively pursue” welfare fraud. That means there’s a high risk of my benefits being reduced or eliminated altogether.
Martha wanted to increase funding for mental health care. I thought maybe, just maybe, that means I’ll finally be offered adequate treatment, something more than an untrained case manager who doesn’t even ask how I’m doing. Not gonna happen now; scratch that little bit of hope off the list.
Democrats lost the US Senate, too, meaning Republicans now control both houses of Congress. That means we’re likely to see drastic cuts to safety net programs like food stamps from the federal level, and perhaps even privatization of Social Security, which would fuck over disabled people as well as a lot of retirees. They could finally succeed in repealing Obamacare, meaning millions of people would once again be without healthcare coverage. They will do their goddamnedest to take away women’s right to reproductive health care. All those gains we’ve made in marriage equality and other LGBTQ+ rights will be rolled back. This will benefit old, rich, white men and no one else.
I poured a year of my life into this campaign. I hung on and worked through intense suicidality because I believed that a win for us would help a lot of people in situations like mine. I put everything I was and everything I had into it, and in the end, it didn’t make a damn bit of difference. It feels like a metaphor for the rest of my life: no matter how hard you try, Kyra, you’re never going to succeed because you’re not fucking good enough.