Avoiding Awkwardness

Last week when I saw her briefly (she brought me homemade vegan pumpkin cheesecake!), C mentioned wanting me to try internal family systems therapy.  Apparently she’d gone to a seminar about it, or a seminar where it was discussed, or something.  She mentioned she’d met several therapists from my town that do that kind of therapy, but all of them were men.  She’s going to try to find out if they can refer us to any women.

Of course, I don’t know how the hell I’d get there.  My city councilor is still trying to figure out the bus issue for me, but they’re telling him my street never had a stop, which is bullshit.  I’d qualify for paratransit, but it costs two to three times what the regular bus does.  Sorry, but how is that equal accessibility for disabled people.  I literally can’t afford those few extra dollars.   (I’m too embarrassed to tell my city councilor that, though.)

Anyway, yesterday and today, we had two volunteers, husband and wife, come in for some shifts, and the wife mentioned that they’re both therapists.  Because I’m a little bit of a creeper, I Googled them–and he does IFS therapy.  Given that this is a small town, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he was one of the ones C met at this seminar.

How fucking awkward would THAT be?  I mean, the guy called me brilliant yesterday.  I really like working on the campaign because it makes me feel competent.  I can be someone other than fucked-up, broken, dysfunctional, crazy Kyra who can’t get her life together at all.  Instead, I’m smart and competent Kyra who can run an office full of volunteers for 14 hours and keep it all together.  I like that role better, even though I know it’s a very time-limited role.  (Not because the election’s almost over, but because I know I can’t sustain it for very long.)

So I can’t let my work life and my dysfunctional life intersect at all.  This campaign is almost over, but in a small town, you run into the same volunteers on campaign after campaign.  It’s a big part of why I blog anonymously–I need to keep these parts of my life separate.  I think I’m going to email C, give her this guy’s name, and ask her not to use my name if she calls this guy to ask for a recommendation for a female IFS therapist.  I’m probably being slightly paranoid, but still….

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Avoiding Awkwardness

  1. happilydpressed

    I don’t think you’re being paranoid. There is nothing wrong with wanting to keep your personal life separate.

    I’m glad that you enjoy campaigning so much. I hope you hold on to it and it helps you. Maybe you can start a newspaper or something in your community, or anything to keep you going within the realm of politics.

  2. I can’t blame ya for not wanting your name mentioned. There’s nothing wrong with that.

  3. I blog anonymously, and there’s no way I’d be able to do it without keeping my real name and my blog name separate. Being good at avoiding problems down the road isn’t paranoia; it’s good planning.

    That reference you made to that part of you that campaigns was especially good, I think. While reading it, I thought that you are that person. Of course, it’s hard to be that person for any given amount of time. And you have a lot of struggles you’re having to manage. As for me, though, I will think of you as smart and competent Kyra who can run the office for 14 hours.

    And I will also think of you as the awesome Kyra who can find the Joe Biden gifs that make me laugh.

  4. I hear you! But if the guy is worth anything at all, he’d totally get your mix of functional and struggling. That’s the point of the therapy! And good therapy harnesses your functioning side, rather than ignoring or rejecting it! 🙂

  5. there is nothing wrong with wanting to keep work and therapy separate. that’s smart in my opinion. I hope you do get a therapist and it works out for you. family systems therapy is good in treating did. Our therapist is trained in it so I know a little about it. xoxo

  6. I don’t think you are necessarily being paranoid, but that it is a good idea to use caution when choosing therapists. I hope something works out so that you are able to try this therapy, if that is what you want to do.

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