So far past done with this

In the ongoing saga of My Case Manager Is Fucking Incompetent…

Today I was supposed to meet with her and my new case manager at 1:00.  At 12:15, while I was in the basement doing laundry, she called to see if we could move the meeting to 2:00.  I called back, but no one picks up.  No one ever picks up in that office, so I don’t know what the hell you’re supposed to do if you’re having a crisis or something.  So I left her a voicemail.

She didn’t show up at 2:00.  Or 2:15.  Or 2:30.  Or 3:00.  Finally I wrote it off and took a nap instead, because fuck that shit.

She doesn’t work on Fridays, so she won’t get my voicemail tomorrow and reschedule.  I’m not convinced the woman even knows how to check her voicemail, judging from past experience.  She’ll probably call me in another week and ask why I never called her back.  She won’t give me her cell phone number because OMG BOUNDARIES, and no one picks up at the office.  So how the fuck am I supposed to get in touch with her?

I’m so sick of this bullshit.  This is supposed to be helpful?  I was bullied/threatened into getting services from DMH–I didn’t want to deal with them after the way they’d treated me when I was trying to apply for services.  But it was get services from DMH or go to the hospital.  But this shit doesn’t even qualify as services.  I see ICM maybe twice a month.  She doesn’t check voicemails or return phone calls.  She goes on vacation without telling me.  When she does actually contact me, she constantly changes appointment times, and she almost always shows up late for appointments and then laughs it off.  She insists my diagnosis is something other than what it actually is, and she has virtually no education on my diagnosis.  I’m not convinced she has education on much of anything; she doesn’t even have an associate’s degree, and I know much more about the DSM than she does.  She has no understanding of what it’s like to live in poverty.  She has no idea what it’s like to live with a severe, disabling, chronic illness.  She isn’t interested in learning what my life is like. 

Pretty much all she does is show up sporadically to take me grocery shopping.  And while I go grocery shopping, she goes clothes shopping, and I have to sit outside with my melting groceries and wait for her to show back up.  I have no crisis support.  She’s not helping me manage any of my problems.  She’s not helping connect me with resources in the community.  She’s not doing fucking anything to help me.  She doesn’t even ask how I’m doing beyond the cursory, “Hey, how’s it going?” when I first see her.  She has no idea that my depression is getting worse because she doesn’t fucking ask, and I’m not gonna blurt it out in the middle of fucking Whole Foods.

I think what really bothers me is I feel like no one there gives a fuck about me.  If I killed myself, they wouldn’t even realize for a month.  (Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill myself.)  No one would, really.  I don’t have friends anymore.  My roommates might notice once I started to smell, but that’s it.  There’s no one left in real life who gives a fuck about me.  That’s a really painful thing to realize.


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14 responses to “So far past done with this

  1. She sounds worse than useless, seriously, what is she actually doing for you, except causing you stress and upset? Why on earth is she in the job she is in? Consistency is so very important. Answering emails and calls, so important too. And to take you shopping, but abandon you while she gets clothes is so so wrong. Is there anyone you can complain to? I am angry on your behalf! I am sorry you are going through this.

    • I’m getting a new case manager soon or I would complain or something. I just hope the new one is better, but I’m not holding my breath. This agency is so bad that even the people who work there make fun of it.

  2. Argh, Hope, i so sympathie. ICMs can be bad, but i have never had one quite as bad as yours and when mine accused me of trying to asssist her in getting an abortion for her very much wanted first pregnancy i knew she was so psychotic i hit the roof and kicked her out of my apartment and simply demanded that they assign me another. Not only that but when the manager, a male, inappropriately wanted to assign himself, against every rule in the book, i told him, politely, to GFH and get me someone who worked for him and would be appropriate…yes, he got back at me, by never sending in my application for certain helpful services and claiming that my income, on SSI (!!!) was “tooo high” but the new case manager is everything i need at the present time and worth the trouble of being the PIA i had to be. Ihope to god your new one is appropriate and has some modicum of training, i dont know where they get these assholes but everything you have written sbout her seems reportable, frsnkly, even though i understand thst you probably dont feel safe at the moment doing so. Maybe if the new one IS decent you may. I hope so, because you have to know you are not the only one she is mistreating and abusing. Frankly, too, it is abuse. Pam

    • I learned early on in my experience with psychiatric treatment not to complain about the way anyone treats you. These people have near-total power over you, and a lot of them will punish you. At best, they’ll blow your concerns off because you’re just crazy, and crazy people are unreliable. The system is set up so that we can’t win.

      So mostly I just play the game, act like I’m fine so they’ll leave me alone. I don’t trust anyone at this agency. There may be a few decent people who work there, but the agency as a whole is broken.

  3. Ahhh total suckage. ((hugs!))

  4. Glad you are getting a new one

  5. Im really sorry to hear this…Really sorry. I thought CT was bad, but at least where you are in MA it seems worse! And you are supposed to have a good health care system. That really sucks.

    • To be fair, I’ve only been hospitalized in MA a few times. Most of my hospitalizations were in AL and IA, with IA being the most traumatic.

  6. Complain anyway. That idiot needs her butt kicked for the way she’s treating you. x

  7. I’m sorry she’s so terrible. I hate it when people aren’t considerate of other’s schedules.

  8. The last line of your post hit me so hard. I wish with all of my heart you had a good case manager who got it, and more than that, who cared. I think that the one you have now is a disgrace. She should be fired from her position, she’s dealing with vulnerable people and thats how she acts? Serously! Incompetent xx

    • She’s leaving the agency, so trying to get her fired would be pointless. I’d like to think it’s because they fired her, but I very much doubt it. This agency has a reputation for hiring terrible direct care staff. And judging from my experiences, they hire crappy administrators, too.

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