Last night, I dreamed about the time in my late teens/early twenties when I was homeless, crashing on friends’ couches and living in my car when I ran out of friends.

In my dream, I’d finally managed to get my own apartment.  It had been hard to get, although I can’t remember exactly how.  It was small, but it was safe and bright and mine.  I felt like I was going to be okay, finally.

And then one day I came home, and everything I owned was tossed in a pile outside the door.  I didn’t own that much, but a lot of it had already been stolen–I don’t know how long it had all been sitting there for anyone to take.  I tried to get into my apartment, but my key didn’t work.  The landlord had changed the locks.  I’d been kicked out.  I’d done everything right, paid all my rent on time and never broken any rules, but I’d been kicked out anyway.

I gathered as much of my stuff as I could hold and ran out to my car, but it was gone too.  There was nowhere of my own left.  I tried calling people I knew to come and help me, but no one was picking up the phone.  I was all alone.

*

I don’t know why I’ve been having these sad, hopeless dreams the last few weeks.  I don’t feel that way when I’m awake, and I’m not dreading going to sleep.  So where are these dreams coming from?

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5 Comments

June 15, 2014 · 8:04 pm

5 responses to “

  1. If they are not troubling during the day then I would skip attempting to analyze. If you were depressed or unable to focus while awake that would be different. Just a lay persons take. I have always had a “do not pick at a scab” approach to my mental health. ( as a kid I did pick at real scabs)

  2. Like you, I am interested in my dreams. I think it is up to you to figure it out, of course, but it seems to me that the dream speaks of a lot of uncertainty about what will remain stable in your life, what you can count on…Despite doing everything right, as you wrote about the dream, you were kicked out of your apt anyway. I wonder what that means to you now, when you have a place to live and a job and are doing things right, but have this danged UC that so upends everything no matter how much you do “right.” I wonder how much the dreams speaks to the UC condition as unsettling everything, and how little control you have over it, no matter how much you want to do it right. Just thinking aloud.

  3. I too have long been interested in my dreams, and I think Pamela is aiming in the right direction.

    Having everything stolen from us is what most of us have experienced, right? Maybe time to revisit and re-feel those emotions, and see what else is attached that might be healed?

    On the other hand, there is so much uncertainty in our world right now, I’ve been finding myself dealing with a lot of free-floating dread the last few days – associated with nothing in particular, it seems, unless it’s anxiety for our entire world. We HSP’s (“highly sensitive people”) might be picking up vibes from any number of things.

    I pick at scabs too, because usually they feel better afterward! ;}

  4. Olivia Hope

    Dreams are so personnel, both the dream inside and their meaning/affects on us.. I don’t feel comfort saying my thoughts on this dream but I do want to share that I personally find dreams very important and revealing simply because I have met most of my team members threw dreams first and as time passing I first tend to dream about stuff that doesn’t affect me during the day until the part sharing is ready (and or maybe I am) to understand and know about it during waking hours… I believe anything reoccurring should be looked at 😉 just my two cents

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