I tried to do stuff two days in a row this weekend, which was not my best plan ever. Saturday was a strategy session with some of our convention delegates, and I thought that was no big deal since most of it was sitting around. So I said I’d come out and canvass this afternoon.
I did okay for about the first hour and a half. It was hot, and the meds I’m on make me very photosensitive. (I think it’s the Entocort, but it might be the 6-MP. Who can keep track?) Then I started feeling really weak and a little lightheaded. I’d been drinking plenty of water, so I don’t think it was dehydration. I just felt like I was about to collapse, like my body was just going to give out on me. I was only able to finish about half of my canvass packet. I feel guilty because I’ve been so unable to do anything lately.
Now I’m home, and I’ve got this pounding headache that will not go away. I’ve taken Tylenol, but it isn’t doing a thing. I have a stack of canvass and phone bank packets two inches thick that I need to enter, preferably tonight. I have no energy, and I nearly pass out every time I stand up. I don’t understand why my body is doing this. I’m drinking plenty, I’m eating enough…so what’s the deal. When I was active with my eating disorder, it made sense for this to happen, but now? I’m only going to the bathroom between 6 and 10 times a day, and in the grand scheme of things, that’s not bad. And most of the time there’s no blood, not since they put me back on the Entocort.
I kind of suspect it’s the 6-MP that’s causing the fatigue and weakness, or at least part of this. I didn’t have this particular problem before I started taking it. But it’s the only thing that’s put me anywhere near remission, so I don’t want to stop taking it. Then I’ll get sicker. But what am I supposed to do? My GI doc has run every test under the sun to see why I’m so fatigued. Iron, B-complex vitamins, Vitamin D levels–all normal. There’s no obvious cause. Even my psychiatrist has run tests, expensive functional medicine tests that I couldn’t really afford but paid for in the hope of finding something that could be fixed. But nothing there, either.
And now I can barely leave my bed. I had to buy a cane so that I can walk around. I can’t function like this! I mean, in three weeks, I’m supposed to be a teller whip for my senate district at the state Democratic convention! It’s going to be all day, and I’m going to have to be running around: collecting numbers, collating data, communicating with the Senate District Whip and Deputy Whip, communicating with my local whips, communicating with my delegates, persuading other delegates…and I’m not even sure I’ll be able to stand up.
I’m just so sick of this. I’m 27 years old, for god’s sake, and I’m pretty sure my 84-year-old grandmother has more energy and functions better than me. I did not sign up for this.