Had the meeting with Social Security this morning. I may have to pay them back for the four months I was at Sheppard Pratt last year–apparently you’re only entitled to a small stipend if you’re hospitalized for more than 30 days, which no one tells you. I don’t know how they think you’re supposed to keep paying the rent–it’s not like the property management company cares that I was in the hospital. I don’t know how I’ll afford to pay back the money if they demand that. I’m already overdrawn by the third week of every month as it is.
I did get my non-working debit card replaced at the bank–not that it matters much, since I don’t have any money and am probably about to have a lot less.
Then therapy. A decided we should play drums to release my anger, which is not even something I feel at this point. I don’t know why, but the sound of her banging on the drum was really triggering, so that idea didn’t last long.
Came home to find the pellet stove is broken. Again. We’ve had a guy out here four times to fix it in the 6 weeks we’ve lived here, but it still won’t work.
So I thought I’d go take a hot shower to warm up. Oh wait, no hot water. We’re completely out of oil. Partly that’s my fault–the gauge is in the basement by the washing machine, and I haven’t cared enough to do laundry in weeks. But my housemates knew it was low and didn’t say anything. Of course, I don’t have the money to fill it, and even if we did, it would be a few days until they could come anyway.
So there’s 2+ feet of snow, it’s below freezing, and I have no heat or hot water. I can’t afford it.
And I should stay alive why?