Exaggerated startle response: affirmative

Christ on a cracker with cheese.

There are a lot of kids in my apartment complex. So just now, I was sitting on my couch and singing along badly to Jimmy Buffett. I heard something scratching on my window screen, and suddenly this kid pops his head up at my living room window and says, “Hi!”

I screamed. Like honest-to-god, scared-out-of-my-fucking-mind screamed. And I’m not a screamer. It’s just lucky it wasn’t a string of cuss words that came out of my mouth, because I have a tendency to swear a lot.

If it had been an adult, I would’ve intentionally yelled a bunch of swear words. I might’ve even threatened their bodily integrity. But the kid looked like he was only about 7 or 8. I’m not sure whether that means he’s gonna grow up to be an asshole or he’s winning at life.



Filed under psych

2 responses to “Exaggerated startle response: affirmative

  1. omg. I’m so with you. Earlier this week, I was discussing hypervigiliance w/ one of my few friends on fb. She and I both have a tendency to hit the floor when we hear…..firecrackers. Whatayagonnado? Well done, btw, I probably would have cussed a bit anyway! I have a tendency to teach people stuff they should know…I’ve lost 50 lbs of it now, but after yrs of anti-psychotics, I looked about 6 months pregnant. One day at a yard sale, the woman asked me when my baby was due. I did NOT cuss. I very calmly informed her that I was not pregnant, just fat. Also that I had already lost 20 lbs…I actually said to her that unless a woman is wearing a t-shirt that says “BABY” with an arrow pointing down….best not to ASSume. I learned this as a child. We were in line at a K-Mart, and I asked the lady when she was gonna have her baby. She wasn’t pregnant. She went off. I’m grateful that she did! How do people get to be over 40 and don’t know this? So I taught her. And then I got in my car and cried for 20 min. Stuff does happen. I think you managed just fine! – Blessings, Kat

    • I live near the summer home of the BSO, and every summer they do a big concert that culminates with the “1812 Overture,” complete with cannons. (It’s an outdoor venue.) Last summer, we didn’t realize we were right in front of the cannons. When they went off, I jumped so bad I pulled a muscle in my neck. It was fun trying to explain that to my doctor: “Well, see, there were these cannons…” It wasn’t the first time I showed up at the doctor’s office with weird injuries…goes with the territory when you’re a klutz and a martial arts student.

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