Christ on a cracker with cheese.
There are a lot of kids in my apartment complex. So just now, I was sitting on my couch and singing along badly to Jimmy Buffett. I heard something scratching on my window screen, and suddenly this kid pops his head up at my living room window and says, “Hi!”
I screamed. Like honest-to-god, scared-out-of-my-fucking-mind screamed. And I’m not a screamer. It’s just lucky it wasn’t a string of cuss words that came out of my mouth, because I have a tendency to swear a lot.
If it had been an adult, I would’ve intentionally yelled a bunch of swear words. I might’ve even threatened their bodily integrity. But the kid looked like he was only about 7 or 8. I’m not sure whether that means he’s gonna grow up to be an asshole or he’s winning at life.