I just can’t.
I don’t know what I can’t. Anything. Life. Whatever.
I am sick and I am in pain and I am scared and I am sad and I am totally, completely alone.
It’s my own fault, of course.
I want to give up. Being a grown-up is too hard. Being ME is too hard. But pretty much everything is too hard for me because I suck at life.
I really, really hate myself right now. I don’t want to be kind to myself. I don’t want to take care of myself. Life is too big and too loud, and I want to hide from it. From myself. From everything.
I want somebody to save me and take care of me. I know no one can, and I hate myself for wanting it.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I haven’t felt this bad since before I went to Sheppard Pratt, and that worries me. A lot.