Black hole. I came straight from individual therapy to art therapy the day I made this. I couldn’t stop crying. Usually I worked on large paper, up to 12″ x 24″. I couldn’t start–the blank paper and my life were both too overwhelming. The art therapist cut me a small piece of paper, 6″ x 6″ with a small circle. But instead of a circle, all I could see was a whole.
Depression. But still trying to believe in the possibility of hope: white at the center. Again I used the oil pastel “crumbs” intentionally. I also added gray chalk pastel outside the circle at the last moment, on a whim, because it felt right.
“Self and other self.” I was dealing with intense attacks from introject parts and trying to protect myself and other parts from them. I’m the outer colors–burned, dark, but inside it fades to blue and white, like a sky full of air to breathe.
A symbolic representation of my system. In the back, behind a wall, a tangle of indistinct parts I barely know. In front, bigger than the rest, two introject parts, representation of my parents. My father burning from the outside in; my mother burning from the inside out. I can’t get past them to the others or I’ll be burned up into nothing.
Shielded. Anxiety about going home–meteors hurtling toward me. But they grey-white shield protects the green life deeper down. I did most of the mandala on white paper to get true colors, cut it out, glued it to black paper, and added the shield and the meteors.